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Random Stupidity (Read 436695 times)
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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #285 - Feb 13th, 2006 at 9:27am
 
Quote:
cbs2chicago.com/topstories/local_story_042233323.html

Boy Charged With Felony For Powdered Sugar
Police Say Sugar Brought To School Look-Alike Drug

(CBS) AURORA Police in Aurora have confirmed that a 12-year-old boy who said he brought powdered sugar to school for a science project last week has been charged with a felony for possessing a look-alike drug.

The sixth grade student at Waldo Middle School in Aurora also was suspended for two weeks from school after showing the bag of powdered sugar to his friends.

The boy, who is not being identified because he is a juvenile, said two other boys asked if the bag contained cocaine after he showed it to them in the bathroom Wednesday morning. The boy's mother said he told them it did, but then added, "just kidding."

Aurora police arrested the boy after a custodian at the school reported the boy's comments. The youngster was taken to the police station and detained before being released to his parents that afternoon.


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(...thinks someone needs to hit the reset button on Earth.)
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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #286 - Feb 14th, 2006 at 9:06am
 
Students asked to stop chanting "Brokeback Mountain" at opposing teams...

http://www.kirotv.com/sports/7011667/detail.html?rss=sea&psp=sports

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(...thinks that's pretty Brokeback.)
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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #287 - Feb 14th, 2006 at 12:33pm
 
http://www.nbc12.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=WWBT/MGArticle/WBT_BasicArticle&...

Quote:
The Spotsylvania County Sheriff's Office is under fire this morning for the way they investigate certain prostitution cases. Undercover detectives have reportedly been having sex when they bust massage parlors for prostitution. Sheriff Howard Smith says the detectives are just doing what needs to be done in order to build a case and get a conviction. He says they are not doing anything illegal or new. But County Supervisor Henry Connors Jr. says he wants the practice to stop.


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"Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other."&&&&John Adams&&
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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #288 - Feb 14th, 2006 at 5:47pm
 
http://news.yahoo.com/fc/us/bush_administration

WATCH OUT!  CHENNY'S TRYING TO FINISH HIM OFF!

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In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king. - Max Payne
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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #289 - Feb 16th, 2006 at 10:02am
 
www.ksat.com/news/7013679/detail.html?subid=22100443&qs=1;bp=t

Quote:
SWAT Team Becomes Victim Of Crime
Weapons Stolen From Car Parked In Hotel Parking Lot

POSTED: 1:16 pm CST February 13, 2006
UPDATED: 1:24 pm CST February 13, 2006

SAN ANTONIO -- Some weapons, a police badge and laptop comptuers were stolen Monday morning from a rental car that belonged to an out-of-town SWAT team in town for training.

San Antonio police spokesman Gabe Treviño said that an officer with the Virginia Beach, Va., SWAT team had just placed the items in the car and had gone to his hotel room to get some more items when someone broke a rear window of the vehicle and took the items.

Treviño said the incident happened in a matter of seconds.

"Notoriously, these car burglars work very quickly," Treviño said. "They can go up to a car, break a window, get in, take items and be gone in a matter of 20-30 seconds, at the longest."

No arrests have been made but San Antonio police are actively looking for the weapons, Treviño said.

The officer was getting ready to leave the hotel for a training session with the San Antonio Police Department SWAT team when the burglary occurred at 7 a.m. in the parking lot of the Residence Inn at Loop 410 and Broadway.


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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #290 - Feb 16th, 2006 at 11:54am
 
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/archives/004409.php

Just when you thought the dumb couldn't get dumerrrrrr.

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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #291 - Feb 16th, 2006 at 7:59pm
 
http://ktla.trb.com/news/la-me-mormon16feb16,0,680332.story?coll=ktla-news-1

Gotta love those Mormons!

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In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king. - Max Payne
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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #292 - Feb 17th, 2006 at 9:46am
 
Ahh yes, those loveable, friendly Mormons.  What would we do without them?

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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #293 - Feb 17th, 2006 at 3:00pm
 
http://www.emptybowl.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=40

BAM!  An exhaustive treatise on cereal marshmallows!

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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #294 - Feb 17th, 2006 at 5:27pm
 
"I’m expecting any day now to see even the green clovers supplanted by mauve and taupe leprechaun hats with gold trim and full color, lifelike, 3D homunculi of Lucky."

lol....that shit wins.
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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #295 - Feb 23rd, 2006 at 10:32am
 
...


Quote:
Moscow stung by US warship gaffe

The authorities in Moscow have hastily removed posters congratulating Russian war veterans which mistakenly showed the American warship USS Missouri.
The posters were taken down on Wednesday - just hours before Defender of the Motherland Day.

The Russian defence ministry said it did not produce the posters.

A Moscow city hall official said the design "should have been shown to specialists who can distinguish one battleship from another".

A defence ministry spokesman, Vyacheslav Sedov, said "it was a civilian firm that produced the poster, and the people who made it were simply incompetent".

"We do have similar ships, beautiful ships. They should have used one of those," he added.

The head of Moscow city hall's advertising committee, Vladimir Makarov, told bbcrussian.com that "fine journalists from Moskovsky Komsomolets [newspaper]" spotted the error and "we quickly removed the posters".

"Designers do the drawings, we look at them and approve them - in this case, of course, a mistake was made," he said.

A similar mistake was made last year when for 23 February postcards appeared in Crimea showing a World War II German T-3 tank and an American M60A tank.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4743144.stm
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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #296 - Feb 23rd, 2006 at 11:32am
 
Quote:
Pig manure swamps German village
A village in the German state of Bavaria is recovering after being flooded with liquid pig manure.
A tank containing the fetid fertiliser burst, sending a deluge of porcine waste into the courtyards and streets of Elsa, police said.

The sewage was half a metre (1.6ft) deep in places.

"The village was swamped with green-brown liquid - the mother of all muck," police spokesman Rainer Prediger, from nearby Coburg, said.

The tank held about 52,800 gallons (240,000 litres) of fertiliser, Reuters news agency reported.

"It was not very pleasant for the villagers," Volker Munk of Coburg police told the BBC News website.

Officer Munk said the slurry ran down the main street, flooding the ground floors of several homes.

Police estimated the accident caused damage that will cost about 100,000 euros (£68,000) to repair, Reuters said.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4741262.stm


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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #297 - Feb 24th, 2006 at 3:30pm
 
And the winner for the "Freakin' Weird News" category goes to...

Man Forced to Marry Goat

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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #298 - Feb 27th, 2006 at 2:34pm
 
Apparently, some sheriff has an awesome sense of humor!

Quote:
Jail reshuffles inmates in flap over gums
Accused jet thief placed in cell with dentist

By JOHN GHIRARDINI
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 02/27/06

A Gwinnett jail inmate whose dental health issues have pitted his parents against Sheriff Butch Conway now has access to a dentist 24 hours a day.

On Friday evening Daniel Andrew Wolcott became a cellmate of a Dacula dentist facing murder charges in the death of his wife.

"I had him moved to a cell with Bart Corbin," Conway said Sunday. "[Corbin's] trained in dentistry, and if there are any complications, they can advise the medical unit. [Wolcott] just had his wisdom teeth out, so I think it's a good thing he's in a cell with a dentist."

Wolcott, 22, is awaiting trial for allegedly stealing a $7 million private jet in St. Augustine, Fla., in October and flying it to Briscoe Field in Lawrenceville.

He's been in jail since then in lieu of $175,000 bond. He faces charges in Florida and also may be subject to federal charges.

Wolcott's parents, Scott and Diane Wolcott, have been at odds with Conway since November over dental floss not being allowed in the jail.

They say their son's inability to floss caused him to develop gingivitis and gum pockets, which if left untreated could become full-blown periodontal disease.

The sparring culminated last week with a series of scorching e-mails and phone messages Scott Wolcott sent to Conway demanding immediate action on the issue or the sheriff's resignation.

Now, Scott and Diane Wolcott say putting their son in a cell with a dentist who can't practice his profession is no solution.

"This appears to be a very bad inside joke on someone's part," Scott Wolcott said Sunday. "I feel I have legitimate concerns that deserve to be addressed and resolved, not just brushed aside or made the brunt of someone's strange sense of humor."

The younger Wolcott, who goes by Andrew, was taken from his unit by a pair of sergeants Friday evening and brought to Unit K, according to his parents and Conway. There, he and Corbin were assigned to Cell 104.

Corbin was transferred from his original cell on the second floor of K pod. The third man in 104 is being held on a probation violation, his jail booking sheet shows.

Other inmates in K pod face charges ranging from aggravated assault and kidnapping to armed robbery and rape, according to jail records.

Scott Wolcott reiterated Sunday that his concerns are not simply for his son, but for any and all inmates who pass through the detention center.

A plan to carry small floss picks in the jail store late last year was abruptly canceled, the Wolcotts said.

"The Supreme Court has ruled that we don't have to provide floss to inmates," Conway said Sunday. "We're not breaking new ground here."

"I'm taking on a very serious health care issue, and I don't appreciate Sheriff Conway making a joke out of it," Scott Wolcott said. "I don't think the Georgia or American dental associations would find it very funny, either."


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Re: Random Stupidity
Reply #299 - Feb 27th, 2006 at 2:53pm
 
Quote:
NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT FOUND

The recent sponsership scandals, inadequate healthcare services, exubarent waste of taxpayers money on useless projects, padded expense accounts, oil issues and a general lack of addressing in a constructive manner in the hope of solving the real issues that are plaguing our society today and other issues to numerous to mention are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named *Governmentium*. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant Deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant Neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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